What I wanted to say but knew I'd be fired.

So, 40 something year old woman decided to tell me the difference in her parenting vs her parents "style". This all started this morning when she told me she couldn't move away with her husband now because her daughter wouldn't be able to handle it. I asked "isn't she 21 years old?" she corrected me, "No, she's 22. But she's really struggling right now with a lot of things while in college." This is where I always make my fatal error, I asked her, "what do you mean?".
I must interject at this point to avoid any confusion as to where I stand. I love my wife and 3 daughters, but I do not love promoting the confusion and detrimental desires of the feminist movement. We are raising young women to be women and young men to be men, not the other way around, or in any other form.

Titus 2:3-5 says:

"The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."

This society has been lied to for so long now that generations are growing up in falsehood knowing nothing else, only surrounded by compounding lies.

Romans 12:2 says:

"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."

A man I know once said that if things in the word of God seem foreign to you, than that only shows how conformed your mind is to the world.
The believer, both man and woman has been given much instruction concerning our daily lives. These guidelines are given for many reason, most of protection, but many are to be pictures reflecting the relationship of Christ and his church. We are not a people in bondage, but in precious liberty when walking in obedience.

And now back to our story.

She began telling me about how she has always tried to tell her daughter that her "thoughts are her reality if she really wants them to be." Now I'm not trying to say that's complete bunk but the undertone driving this conversation was that her daughter will excel in the corporate world so long as she made sure to neglect having a family and then continued to neglect any family that would come down the road. My co-worker continued explaining the root of her own troubles concerning this predicament. Her parents believed that a woman was created to be home and raise babies(what a repulsive thought) I stood in near disbelief being lectured on the "passe" desires of her now disappointed parents, all the time thinking "then how did you get so messed up?" Then there was a point of clarity that spoke to me of things I've pondered over for some time now. They promoted college. They told her to do as she was created to do and then blindsided her by sending her off to the wolves to learn to disregard everything they tried to instill in her life. Instead of continuing her preparation as a help meet, they gave up their right of influence and sent her to an institution sculpted by Satan to break down the word of God and destroy the remaining blessing's this nation has enjoyed that were inspired by his word.
So in my presumption, my co-worker's daughter seems to understand that the "career" may not be so desirable, but her mother is desperately dragging her into confusion to help justify her own rebellion.

Why we will have a large family.

We desire a large family. When bringing this up to just about any one, the eye's enlarge, the mouth starts to sag and the smoke pouring out of their ears brings the all too familiar response "you have 4 kids, you already have a huge family!" Again, I know how many children we have and we're all the more determined to one day embrace having a large family. Dis-belief is something I'm now used to encountering when speaking my mind in any public place. However, it's the not so public arena's that shock me most. My own mother, desperate to protect and guide me from ruining my life, begged to pay for birth control after our wedding rehearsal dinner! Convinced of the "fact" that we would be utterly destitute due to the deplorable naive and or foolish choice's we would soon walk out. Finally, aware of my stubbornness and unwillingness to bow to her wishes, she and the rest of my family took to a new road of personal redemption, they would wait for the fulfilling day of "I told you so". Five and a half years and 4 children later I find, they were right. We were naive and maybe even a little foolish. We had no idea of the joy's, fulfilment, and immense satisfaction that trusting the Lord for our family could possibly bring. When my wife and I were unifying our hearts for our new life we had some great idea's and some misunderstandings. We came to grips with what we believe to be true for every believer, for those who are without knowledge, and even for us. Children are a blessing and every believer should be delighted in them and understand when the Lord says they are his blessing's to us we should not have heart's that say "we don't want that blessing Lord, give us something else." We must embrace the fact that he is the Lord! He does know what he's talking about. For those without understanding we must stand strong and walk out our lives pitying them for what they are missing out on. Now on to what is right for us. Psalm 37:4,5 says "Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord: trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass."

It's pretty simple, delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. If you are delighting yourself in the Lord than your desires will be molded into what he would have you to pursue. His desires will be upon your heart and he will grant them in his will for your life. Commit thy way unto the Lord: trust also in him, and he shall bring it to pass. Trust him for those things he has spoken into your life and you can and will walk in confidence of those treasures. The Lord has given us a desire for a large family, we trust this is his will and we relish all that it entails. Gleefully we walk on knowing, we will have a large family.

Why those who say they'd like their wive's to stay home some day, never will.

Quit lying to me and just do what you want, or change what you really want and do what you're telling me you want to do. Too often today we say things we don't really mean. We know what is right, so we give lip service to it knowing it is the "ideal" situation but never expecting it to come to reality. We understand the sacrifices those things require and quite frankly are unwilling to take them. The reason your unwilling to take any sacrifices is because your selfish.
Our culture has taught us some things that are just plain stupid. We are told to take care of our self, make sure and have time for your self, make sure we all have good self esteem. Take pride in your self, only do what feels good to you.
Today people have become self-centered and ignorant. Being conformed to the culture of this day, rather than being transformed into the everlasting unchanging word of God. You think I'm harsh saying this? Lets look at the definition's of these 2 words.

Self-centered: Occupied or concerned only with one's own affairs; egocentric; selfish.

Ignorant: from ignore: To disregard deliberately; pay no attention to; refuse to consider.

If your wife has to leave home to pay your mortgage, 1 or 2 car payments, for childcare, for vacations, or just to "make it" then your priorities are seriously messed up and are detrimental to your entire family. Your house is going to burn, your cars will rust, your children will be raised by strangers and a vacation can be forgot in a moment, but your children will never forget mom being there through thick and thin for every scrape and every tear of anguish or joy.

I remember every house I've ever lived in and every car and vacation I've been privy to. Some big, some small. Some fancy, and some not, but my memories are all about experiences growing up. The every day affairs are what I think about most, not about how nice the "things" were.
But I don't need to convince you why your wife should stay home because you already know I'm right. So lets get down to some practical solutions to your situations.

Your mortgage is too big for your income:
Sell your home and move into one you can afford.

There isn't any affordable home's in your town:
Move out of the area. What's more important, your town, or your children?

Your car payments are too high:
Sell your car or pay it off.

Your credit card bills are too high:
Consolidate your cards and pay them off and remove them from your wallet.

Your lifestyle is too expensive for your income:
It's time to change your lifestyle and work out a new budget.

Here is very basic skeleton for an example:

Of what I receive from my monthly paycheck these are the general percentages;

10% To the Lord (although it is not law, I see it as a good principle)
30% Mortgage/insurance/taxes
15% Food bill
7.5% Fuel Bill (I commute about 70 miles a day)
4% Car Insurance
3.5% Cell Phones (no land lines)
3.5% Natural Gas Bill
3.5% Power Bill

Most of these above are approximates since they can change a bit month to month. But still these are my bill's and they leave about 23% of my income left for various things.

My children are full, they are clothed well. We are satisfied with what the Lord has provided for us and we are thrilled to show others how rewarding it is to believe that Jesus doesknow what he was saying when he tells us what to do and then says trust me.

A man I respect once told me that "you can never expect to do tomorrow what your not doing today". That has stuck with me for years now. If you won't take the first step to bringing your wife home today, then don't tell me you will some day. The time has come to decide, fancy lifestyle or obedience, either way, stop lying to me.

high school drop out, 4 children, 1 and a half cars, 1 house, 1 mom, 1 dad, 1 job, yep.

Yes I know how babies are made, and yes I know how expensive they are. If you remember, I'm the one that just commented on how many I have.

Why is it that people have to share their thoughts as if there is no way they could possibly be restrained from doing so. I mean, it's like an automatic knee jerk reaction. First there's shock, then that's followed by dis-belief, leading into either disgust or confusion. That's when the annoying monologue's start. People assume that we have no idea what we're doing and say things like "how are you ever going to pay for their college" or "you may like it now, but wait until they're all teenagers and hate you", you know, comments that were never invited or requested. Getting onto that part, where do people get off believing they have the right to instruct me on how to manage my family. One time I had a supervisor at my work tell me "you need to get your wife fixed." This is all in reaction to the size of my family, the real amazement comes when they start telling me it's not possible to have such a large family one income. You should here the fun when they find out I don't even want my children to go to college let alone pay their way.

Today I was told how lucky I am that my wife is able to stay home with our children. That person was wrong. First I don't believe in luck and second she has it backwards. If I did believe in luck I would have to say I'm "lucky" that I have a wife that is dedicated to staying home and not desirous to leave the home and go to some unfulfilling job. My wife is just as dedicated to staying home and raising the children God gave us as I am to seeing she not be burdened with monetary issues. By the way, the word luck implies that things simply worked out the way we wanted and there was no planning or sacrifice to be made on our part. The bottom line is that we make choices everyday. Choices that many times have lasting effects on our lives, and the lives of possibly many others. We made a choice when we were first married that material things such as fancy cars, nice homes, and anything else that will burn after the Lord returns will add no value to our children's lives if they were achieved by our children being raised by some day care or school teacher. We needed a car, we bought what we could afford. We needed a home, we bought what we could afford. There are needs in this world and there are wants. For some reason we in America generally can't tell the difference. A family member of mine once told my wife that they were trying to pay off the debt they were drowning in from when they first got married. The saddest part came when she admitted that they couldn't afford they're lifestyle at first so they had to use credit cards to maintain their image. Never was the possibility of living within they're means a viable option.


A boy can be the father of many kids, a girl can be their mother and stay home with those kids. But a family is started by a man and a woman that become husband and wife. None of that is impressive, but it is the fact, a fact that today is both being forgotten and misconstrued. We as Americans have the ability and protection to have a baby on the sightest of whims or kill the child of inconvienence. Love cannot be legislated, love cannot be dictated, and a home without it is worthless no matter how many or few that house contains. When we as a society love only ourselves we can expect nothing less than selfish unloving people raising worse monsters than we have become ourselves. We have children because we love them and see them as the absolute blessing that the Lord Jesus says they are. My wife stays home with them because the Lord has given us the responsibility to raise these precious people, not something to be handed over to the world.